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Monday, July 16, 2012
6:00 AM | Posted by Jenny | Edit Post
This is the girl who was described as "emotionally dead." She laughed this morning when she woke up....LAUGHED! I feel like I'm watching a resurrection!
After she explored my face and hair for a good hour and we nuzzled and snuggled, she found my hair brush. So excited for her to join the hair parties at our house. I think that counts as arts and crafts for our homeschool program. What we can do with hair weave is pretty "legit." (as my teenage boys would say)
When Brad and I were considering what special needs we thought we could "handle" I remember saying I didn't think I could do mobility issues for a number of reasons. I think God laughed a little. But since becoming drug-free (yes, Esther is off ALL medication right now. Since the medications she was on require regular blood draws to determine if the level is therapeutic or toxic, I observed her and decided: toxic. The orphanage sent me with no medication when we left and I took it as a sign. Normally it's not recommended to go cold turkey on these meds. We had been cutting back, although the dosing wasn't consistent anyway. And I do have my back up rescue meds in case we get into a status seizure situation.....all that to say, I'm cool with it.) Oh yes, since becoming drug-free Esther has been walking so much better! When we first met her she could barely take a step without falling over. Now, with a little hand holding at times, she's a toddling rock star.
And God led me to this fabulous invention that can handle big kids. I'm totally wanting to get these for Ekisa, the special needs orphanage I visited.
And Esther is learning that people can be safe. When we first met her she had a defensive posture she would strike and lift her hands in front of her face as if to protect herself from harm. Now she actually approaches people to receive affection. Miraculous!
She has started singing a song that I believe Daniel nurtured in her spirit all these years. It's in Lugandan and the lyrics are "Jesus is here, Jesus is here, in the morning, noon, and evening, Jesus is here." And she has started drumming with her hands on any hard surface she can find. Again, from a girl who was pretty checked out for a long, long time. The music is back in her life!
She wakes up excited to start the day and see what new adventure awaits. It took a little faith to say "yes" to her, but the blessing I have received is beyond anything I could have hoped to ask for. I have never regretted saying "yes" to God, even if it required a little stretching at first.
This is my anniversary week in what feels like an anniversary life with Brad. It was my first big test of faith to say "yes" to marrying a man at 19 that I had known just a couple months. I had never really seen anything in my own life that looked like a happy marriage. I was a baby Christian, just coming out of a toxic relationship, and all I knew was that God had shown me I was to marry this pure-hearted, kind, Jesus-loving, family-honoring, man of integrity. And I thought I was making this huge sacrifice! It's like God was telling me to put down the poison so He could give me the most delicious and nourishing meal of my life. Brad has lived out the "love believes the best" principal and sees the good and God in all situations and people. I wake up every day ecstatic I get to be married to him. I didn't even know what I wanted or needed, but God did.
And believe it or not, He wants a smile on our face! He is not out to make us miserable, He is our Father! He gets joy from our joy, and we can make His heart smile the way He makes ours sing. Life is too short to play religious games, be insecure and guarded, and trying to please everybody. Where the Spirit of the Lord is there FREEDOM! Until you get your own freedom you can't help others find theirs in Christ either. If you are still stuck in accusation against yourself and everyone else....it's probably time to break free. Read the Bible again and see that there is no mold. God broke in to all kinds of people's lives and asked them to walk by FAITH not by sight and live the adventure of knowing Him and who they were in Him. Jesus paid it all, there is no more wrath, He suffered enough......and we can move past the sin-issue and into the freedom of being sons and daughters of our joyful King in a whole new Kingdom where there are no orphans!